Timeline of Pamela Dyson (aka MSS Premka Kaur Khalsa) leaving and returning to the Dharma
- 1979 – after having left the Dharma in the 1970s, she came back and wrote about her experience during the 10-year anniversary of 3HO. In 1979, she held the respected positions of Mukhia Sardarni Sahiba and Secretary General of the Khalsa Council. Read her complete words which were published in 1979 in the book “The Man Called the Siri Singh Sahib“, a book which lists her as the main editor.
- 1980s – Pamela left the Dharma again
- 1986 – she filed a lawsuit, initiated, and funded by Pritam Singh and friends. (See countersuit document). After the countersuit was initiated, Pritam Singh dropped his (Pamela’s) lawsuit.
- 1996 – Pamela came back to the Dharma and wrote an apology letter dated May 8, 1996, which she read to the community members. Numerous community members remember witnessing her apology.
- 2020 – Pamela’s book – people close to Pamela during various times she describes in her book, themselves describe how what she says is a complete “rewrite of history”. When you read Pamela’s words that she wrote in The Man Called the Siri Singh Sahib, she says “I chose to leave the discipline which I had been practicing for such a short time. I chose to run away from the teacher with the powerful charisma; the man whose words were so penetrating, that I had no defense against them. I felt that if I didn’t do it then, I might never get away. So I did it, and I found that in order to do it, I had to involve myself in every type of escapist activity available in the American society, (Hollywood, at that), and I managed to act out more negativity in the next month than I had previously experienced in my entire twenty-five years of life. Physical pain finally brought me crawling back for relief, after being saturated with all of the grossness of the young “hip” society of the day, an experience which had literally brought me to my knees. In that state of humility, the words of Yogi Bhajan in the next class which I attended, pierced through all my layers of fear, insecurity, anger, frustration, despair and ignorance – and it was clear to me in that moment in time, just what is the nature of ego and intellect.”
In Pamela’s book, she says that she had an abortion when she went to India in the 1970s. Was that pregnancy a result of what she describes above?
Gurdwara Lecture by Yogi Bhajan on September 14, 1986, in Espanola, NM
Aad Guray Nameh, Jugad Guray Nameh, Sat Guray Nameh, Siri Guru Devay Nameh.
“Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh.”
It is very surprising what I am going through myself personally and it is very completing. I come here and His holiness humbly is requested to talk to the congregation. On the other side, there is hardly any abuse left which is not being printed left and right and I can understand what money can do, but I also can understand what a demoralized emotional person can do and I fully now understand why people do not want to be spiritual.
Try to understand, our nature is to gain, our nature is not to lose and in gaining nature we forget what to gain. Our capacity to gain is not gaining towards God. Our capacity to gain is gaining towards the influence on this Earth. And when you are spiritual, you look different. Not, we are unfortunately as Sikhs, we definitely look different. That’s the fundamental with us.
We are the only organic people on the Earth, which normally understand the will of God and try to live as it is. I am not trying to challenge that, this I want to leave to the fundamental belief, but if you understand the reality of life what Sikhism teaches is totally different. I am not saying any religion teaches less or more I will leave it to the people who teach that religion. But as a student I have learned every religion and that’s my privilege and some time I wonder why I was trained to learn all the religions. Not to have a voice or thinking this religion is better than the other.
I think that’s the fundamental which I feel did to me, but in Sikh religion you cannot, you cannot even you wish to be, you cannot play a game which you want to play from your concept. And that fundamental basis is with Christian, with Buddhism, with Hinduism, with Islam and with any other religion you can name. But in Sikh religion it is apparent. There are no two opinions about it. In Jews you can get moderate Jews, reformed Jews, orthodox Jews, Jews of the such and such century. In Christianity you can become Roman Catholic, you can be protestant, you can become this, there are about twelve, fifteen, sixteen and similarly in Sikhs you can become (?) you can become this, you can become that, you can become I am not questioning you. But that is not Sikhism. That’s where the problem is, no head-trip, the fundamentalism of which the Sikhism, the core of the Sikhism is give your head to the Guru. Now you have been told it’s a brainwash, it is this wash or that wash I mean to say I don’t know. If there is some factory where you can really put your head and get your brainwashed, I shall be perfect.
People do not even wash their hair.
They are so lazy, who is going to wash the brain? But…
But understand the fundamental, fundamental in Sikhism is simple and it was decided by the tenth master. He stood up with a sword in his hand, oh for the Christian world it is horrible. For Buddhist world it is my God he is killing, for Islam how can it be? I am not talking you can look in any way you look. But he stood up on a Baisakhi day and said, “I need a head.” One man offered, he came with a bleeding sword, “I need another head.” First people were doubtful and then they started saying my God he is gone crazy and the fourth head, people started slipping away. But he didn’t stop he asked for another head fourth and finally the fifth. You cannot believe how much passionate disbelief was practiced that devoted congregation, devoted people and the congregation, how much passionate disbelief they understood. According to the historical record they were thousands of people and everybody got totally disenchanted, disenchanted. Some people even say Guru has lost his head.
What he is doing? And then after a while these five dressed up in the Bana appeared at the stage and then everybody said, “Why didn’t I offer myself?” Then there was a different enchantment.
Standing here before you, attending a phone call right now which I was attending where it was read out to me that what a curse I am on the humanity. Exactly I am not detailing it but you can detail yourself.
And I was thinking two people got up made up lawsuit and nobody bothers to even investigate and that’s it and thousands and hundred thousands of people say, they are in their excellent. That has no credibility. One person can get up and happens to elongate his credibility that is joy, that is spread, that is circulated. I am putting myself into play with you to make you understand normally a person in my status should not survive and some time you will ask the same question, what for? Why I have to do this for? No, my dear you are not practicing Dharma for you and the odd it represents you; you are practicing that it represents the odd and you have the opportunity to break through. That’s what Dharma means.
Spirituality does not mean wearing clothes, reading Bani, doing lungar and doing seva and reading scriptures and knowing all that, that’s not enough, that is to give you that strength that when time fits, space takes the toll at that time Guru’s words give you the strength to go through it. We have been persecuted from day one and it has never stopped. Now it is a moderate persecution, it is not that we are being pulled together and put through the tooth wheel and shredded like wasted paper. And not that our children are cut into limbs and limbs before our ladies and put a garland and ask her to wear it that was the honor given to us and sometime on a little thing on ego he said to me this and she said to me that and you all get worried. I mean to say I can’t understand that on one hand after this congregation we do Ardas and we will read all that. Those who were boiled alive that’s how we start, those who were cut piece to piece, those who were put between the logs of the wood and cut in the center. Those who were put on the death tooth wheel and shredded into pieces, eh Ardas hein, this is our Ardas you can’t deny it, you can lie about it.
‘Char sahibjaadey, Panj Piarey (?)
These are all positive things. Those who meditate it, those worship, those who dedicate it all that, then start the history practical.
‘Shahidaa (?) Jinna Nam japaya, Vand Chakya (?).’
Cut limb by limb. ‘(?).’
Not to cut the hair of the Sikh his whole scalp was taken out. ‘(?).’
You name all that and you repeat it every day. Why? Why they did that? All they had to do at that time say, ‘I am not a Sikh,’ that’s all one line. One line could decide the issue. Are you a Sikh? They didn’t say and the answer was no, and they will go away. Yes, then face the death. That’s our history. Is it worth? I am asking you a question.
My answer is yes, because to live like cowards is not worth living at all and not to live in identity is not human. That’s why, that’s why it is worth.
Sometime my friend asked me, “Weren’t you happy while you were officer and everything was done around and everything was set and now you are fifty-seven you would have retired in peace, had your house, had your pension, you are not to bother, what are you doing with this crazy Americans?”
“You know where are you going go with them?”
I said, “I am going somewhere I am not going anywhere. I am not going with crazy Americans, I am just going along with those who are seeking God, who are seeking grace, who are in gratitude to be a human, I am just going along with them. I have no axe to grind.”
“Is it not this enough what they are talking about you?”
I said, “Not yet, it has not even started.”
And one day I said to somebody I said, “Fool we worship Guru Ram Das, Guru Ram Das son was Guru Arjun Dev he sat on a hot plate, he was crucified. Is there any different history for other people who call themself to be the son of the Guru? Is that we all have to have duality? And deceitfulness, that we call our self the Sikh of the Guru and do not know what it is? Is that a human? Not at all.” My dog is trained to kill, absolutely well-trained dog trained to kill and that day when he came from training, they asked me I should introduce myself to him, because now he is trained.
I said, “Well, my son tomorrow graduates he is not going to be my son, you mean my dog is trained now he is going to attack me?”
“There is a possible.”
I said, “Then it is not a dog.”
The faculty of dog is that it doesn’t forget the master doesn’t matter what.
And I told the trainer.
I said, “Let me show you.” I went and I slapped his face, he said, “Meeee…”
And in against every training I told him, I said, “Up, up” and (?) jumped up with the legs up.
I said, “Now you understand this is a dog?”
And that is what dog is. ‘(?).’
The dog is not outside goes and forget about well that’s a king I should follow him and that’s the ordinary man that’s not the faculty of the dog. Faculty of dog is he only forgets that man who his master. And exactly that Sikh who has the Guru shall not participate in negativity. The faculty of the Sikh is that a Sikh will go not that his wife is freaking out therefore, he cannot be a Sikh, not that my husband is freaking out I cannot be a Sikh. Because my children, my father is going to write me off the will therefore, I cannot be a Sikh. Not Sikh that one has been paid fifty thousand dollars and hired to go and see what Sikh congregations are acting upon the lawsuits. Can you believe? And people ask me, “What we are going to do about it?”
I tell you right today, “We are going to do nothing about anything.”
Don’t be foolish.
“Paapi ke marney paap maha badi hai”
To kill a sinner his sin is enough we don’t have to add anything. Because the computer of the God acts accurately. I understand that your peace and tranquility have been bothered, I understand they send people here to give you the copies of the law cases, and I also understand that there is a possibility some of you are so naive you can be used and your grace can be used to do the assassination for which they are very eager. And I also understand that in your generosity some time you maybe innocently committing a situation which you may not even know where it leads to. You are (?) against professional, professional deprogrammers, professional occult fighters and professional negative people who have taken a vow they shall not tolerate it, they are like ghost, they are not with us and they cannot live without us. So, what they have to do? Do something to destroy us. They shall not succeed. They shall not succeed; we shall become strong.
It’s a very simple a saying of a typical Punjabi that the swans will swim and the crane which are white too will fly away. And in the nobility of that peace and tranquility comes home the strength. I understand now they are saying I do not know yoga even.
And I just laughed up and Niranjan said, “Why you are laughing?”
I said, “Well, you know there are things to be said, and there are things not to be said. But when they say these kinds of things I don’t know they take away all the credibility. I can understand I am not a Sikh, I can understand I am not a yogi, I can understand I am not a human, but they don’t tell me what I am.”
They are very confused. And what I am trying to tell you is in your life same thing is happening everywhere, nobody tell you who you are, all they tell you who you are not or you are in their sense not in your sense. Everybody has a concept to tell you what they know about you, they don’t have a concept about you. So knowledge is a knowledge of circumstances or acquaintance. Knowledge is a knowledge of circumstances, acquaintance or experience. Knowledge even is not totality. Therefore, knowledge is not even reality. People say if you are ignorant you are in darkness, I say you are acknowledge you are in semi darkness because there is no knowledge and there is no teaching and there is no religion and there is no gimmick, no training which can make you understand to pay the price for living truth. That’s why Guru Nanak said, ‘truth is great, knowing truth is very great, but living truth is what all is about.’
So my dear folks look at me how gracefully, graciously I am dedicatedly in gratitude thankful to God. On one hand they call me names and on other hand they appreciate me.
It is the story of the greatest yogi Raja Janak for whom we do say good things in the Siri Guru Granth. Siri Guru Granth puts Raj yog in the name of Raja Janak. Raja Janak as a great yogi and a great king, a great rishi son came and said, “Father bless me with experience and knowledge.”
He said, “All right son go to Janak and learn from him.”
This great son of this great yogi went to the court of Janak and he was shocked, he even didn’t say hello came back and told father what you did?
He said, “What I did son?”
“You sent me to Raja Janak.”
He said, “Yes.”
“What I saw is improper.”
He said, “Yes, what was it?”
He said, “Janak was sitting on one of his thigh within my presence a dancer came and she sat down there, and he didn’t move a muscle.”
He said, “Why should I move the muscle?”
“Why, he should have thrown her away. Court dancer has no right to sit in the lap of a king, on the thigh of a king, in the presence of everybody, it is ridiculous immoral, it is all unethical.”
He said, “That is what you saw?”
He said, “Yes.”
“Well there was nothing else to see.”
“That was wrong.”
He said, “Go again and this time my advice is totally see.”
“I don’t want to go father.”
He said, “Well, you want to learn or not?”
So he went again this time with attitude neutral, I am going to go and I am going to see what is going on. So he went he saw, and Raja Janak smiled.
He said, “Oh son of the rishi why you hesitantly came last time and hastily left?”
He said, “Raja I have never thought that you know about me.”
He said, “Oh yeah I don’t know this thing ah, in my court you come in my court and you presume that you are not noticed, that you are a son of a great rishi?”
He said, “Well, I came to learn from you my father sent it and there was nothing to learn.”
He said, “There was lot to learn.”
He said, “What?”
He said, “You see on this side the girl sat on my thigh?”
He said, “Yes.”
He said, “Where is my second leg?”
He said, “Oh I didn’t notice.”
He said, “Where it is?”
“It is in a boiling oil.”
The Janak pulled his leg out of the boiling oil and said, “Oh great son of the rishi put your leg in it.”
He said, “It will fry you alive.”
He said, “Not mine how can be your fried?”
He said, “Look when the girl sat down on my thigh I didn’t move when my leg was in this hot boiling oil I didn’t move, the idea in life is not to move, but to concentrate. That is what your father wants to learn.”
All of you who by the grace of Guru somehow have walked on this path and you have started calling yourself Sikhs. You may be very grateful that I came to America, therefore, you became Sikh, that is not true. I came to America to meet you and you came to meet me and we got our scene together which is creating a lot of jealousy and lot of pain to lot of people because law is when the candle burns the moth cannot, they cannot stay away they have to come to do their number. That’s what we are going through, that is what I am asking you is all of you who call yourself Sikhs just understand that when you call yourself Sikhs you totally go on the record of the Sikh and the prayer of the Sikh is the strength of the Sikh and your Ardas is your prayer. And each day you repeat it, you acknowledge it, it maybe it has become such a routine that you don’t worry about it. And maybe many of you maybe just like Premka for eighteen years you carry the banner, you are the vendor of the Dharma and you do not utter a word. Eighteen years later you say everything, which nobody on the planet not here or hereafter can believe.
I am asking you in the presence of the Guru answer my question. How many of you have seen or believed that Premka was imprisoned for all these years on gunpoint?
If anybody in the international world can tell me Premka was brainwashed I will like to become her disciple to teach me that method of brainwashing which we have learnt, but just remember when the mind flips, when the coin flips then head becomes the tail.
When somebody loses the head all you hear is the tail.
Isn’t that practical and that is called flipping the coin and fate and tail belongs to the fate.
Destiny and coin the human has been flipped. What happened actually is they both were the vanguard of this Dharma, Karta Purkh.
It flipped, no we cannot deal with that, it’s a long story, but let us cut it short. After that flip they are so much anger and pain, but they have lost the game.
Sometime you do….
Premka claims twenty-five million dollars from me knowingly as a secretary general I don’t have that. Knowingly when I go before the Guru, I take a dollar from somebody. But coin flips and then it comes true.
Enemy shall talk an unbelievable, impossible talk. We did not ask them to leave dharma. Premka was not asked to leave Dharma even we arranged to get this marriage we tolerated everything, we sent with love and blessing in Albuquerque. Premka being a secretary general has to call the meeting of the Khalsa council by law, it is in the bylaws and put a resolution that Siri Singh Sahib by character, by deed is not worthy to be Siri Singh Sahib. And could have started the debate and could have got the decision. What I am trying to explain to you people don’t do what they should do or what they are supposed to do. It’s a question of from which consciousness you are coming.
In your heart consciousness there is nothing greater than you and your lower consciousness there is nothing worst than you. The idea that we come for sadhana, we touch the Guru, we read the Guru, we listen to the kirtan, we do all that is that we may not flip. We may keep that balance, we may keep that tranquility. What I am explaining to you, Sikh Dharma will continue without me, with me, with you, without you, whatever is happening is happening. But this gives you the chance to not feel perfect because God is only perfect. The only way not to feel perfect and not to go in one ego is to live in gratitude. Feel every moment of blessing and feel grace and that is where to feel humble and thank God for putting us on the path of spirituality.
You are here for many years I asked you one question, how many of you ever believe… don’t lie, that Premka will ever have a lawsuit like this in many places I have seen her picture in place of reverence. So, nobody is great, nobody is perfect, nobody is absolute. It is the human mind, which connects the soul and the body, and it can flip anytime. Not to destroy the destiny we have only one thing to learn from all this and that is to keep our self under our own control. My greatest allegation against me is that I tell Americans to clean the monkey glands.
I do ask people that early in the morning when you brush your teeth you should see the mucus in the throat is taken out instead of going into stomach. If it goes into the stomach it shall create problem in the stomach, in the colon and in the intestine and the whole digestive system. It’s the bad thing to say? Just understand if you really want to progress in life and enjoy the beauty of life, get up early in the morning and sit down and breathe in gratitude. Feel the presence of God, feel few hours in the morning given to God. You will be surprised how much strength it can bring to you. Don’t judge Dharma on the basis of gain and loss. If you are out to judge, then judge yourself with gratitude then blessed are those who walk on the path and utter the word of the Guru to glorify the God.
One man asked me a question, “Why we should utter the word of the Guru?”
I said, “There is nobody who has said such glorious word to praise the Lord, human words are too limited.” Who will say,
“Jisnu bakshey sift salah Nanak paatshaaee paatshah”
Who will say that among us? I say, we repeat the word of the Guru so that the God may feel glorified and we may be blessed that after our visit to this mortal Earth is over we go on to home and sit on the right side of our Creator the infinite God. This Earth is not for those who are lonely it is for those who are lonely because God and the word of the Guru is with you all the time. That trinity; Father, Son and Holy Ghost are Guru, God and you walking together it’s always a reality. Just don’t forget it. Many of you have lot of question, what will happen in this case?
I tell you word is kesh and the long hair on our head are called kesh, is that true? So, if that many cases comes through us there are long hairs on my head and still I have to utter Wahe Guru I’ll feel blessed.
I don’t think there is anything to do you tell somebody to eat beets, it is good for blood and good for health they sue you that you told them to eat beets therefore, they get the tubulization done therefore, you are liable for twelve million dollars. You tell somebody live and let live they sue you twenty-five million dollars because you have raped them. Tomorrow they will sue you because you looked at them and they fell on the road and got crushed by another car because your eyes are magnetic.
And one day they will sue you because you wear a special kind of underwear and seeing that underwear, which is a very special kind they became impotent, what you can do. You can’t do a thing.
There is nothing on this planet you can do, where there is sanity there is a insanity. Where there is a grace, there is a disgrace. Where there is a high, there is a low. Where there is a head, there is a tail. Just don’t flip.
“Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh”
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