Spreading Seeds of Fearlessness & Joy
Written by MSS Krishna Kaur Khalsa, Los Angeles, CA and posted on Mr. Sikhnet on February 28, 2012.
The Siri Singh Sahib, my beloved teacher, inspired my ministry but not in the way I used to think of inspiration. From his example, I long to serve God as he served Him. When I met the Siri Singh Sahib I was coming out of a very confusing period in my life. There was a voice inside that for several years was telling me that I was supposed to help people find a way out of their pain. Not just for a few entertaining hours in the theater, but forever. When the thought first surfaced, I had no idea why I was thinking such a weird thought. It eventually sent me on a whirlwind round of searching that spanned three continents and lasted for over three years. Finally, my journey led me to the feet of the Siri Singh Sahib. I didn’t know where my head was at that time. All I knew was that the Kundalini Yoga I had been practicing for five months had become my safety net and that I wasn’t really losing my mind after all!
During my first appointment with the Siri Singh Sahib back in 1970, I expressed a concern over my brother who hadn’t been seen or heard from by the family in several years. I thought the Siri Singh Sahib, being a ‘holy man’ and all, would simply roll his eyes up to the ceiling in a trance-like manner and tell me my brother was fine and living in Paris or something like that. But instead he looked me straight in the eyes and commanded me to go out and teach. At first I thought he was kidding and I chuckled heartily. Then he said it again and I was a bit confused, wondering if he had heard correctly what I’d just said about my brother. But, before I could restate my reason for wanting an appointment, the eyes widened and the voice boomed out again.
“You must go out and teach! Do you agree, do you agree?”
What was he talking about? It may have sounded like a yes or no question but trust me, it wasn’t. As I searched the faces of the other guests in the room for help, the voice hit me again.
“You must go out and teach your people! Do you agree, do you agree?”
Of course I don’t agree! “I don’t know anything” I said, thinking what a ridiculous idea this was. Over and over his voice continued to badger me and I kept telling him, “But I don’t know anything!” I pleaded unsuccessfully as the tears cascaded down my face and on to the basket of fruit I’d brought him. “This cannot be happening”, I screamed in my head. Then I was hit by another blow from the voice. “You must go out and teach….. teach….. teach! Do you agree?” “But I don’t know anything, sir….. how can I possibly teach this stuff?” And the battle went on for what seemed like hours, but in reality was probably only a few minutes. I finally surrendered.
“OK, OK!” I gasped, willing to say anything that would stop the booming voice and the pressure in my head. And of course, like magic, it all stopped. The Siri Singh Sahib smiled and patted me on the shoulder. I felt a cool breeze blow across my face as a smiling lady came and gently took the basket of fruit and showed me to the door. I was stunned as I walked to my car wondering what just happened. I gave my word. I promised I would teach, and I did. I taught a class a week later to fourteen actors. The class was great. He was right. And I was hooked.
As Siri Singh Sahib has always said, a teacher is a chiseler and a forklift. Well, I experienced that directly from my initial meeting with him. He was totally serving the destiny of my soul despite the resistance of my ego. He showed me the selflessness of true love and the commitment of a real teacher. It is with this dedication to serving the longing of others that I continue to travel and teach in Africa, Mexico, Canada, South America, Europe and throughout the United States. I do so with the hope that one day I will be as real and selfless with everyone as he was with me that day and many days that followed.
I truly believe that my personal mission as a minister of Sikh Dharma is to serve others with a technology that will help them find a way to drop their life’s suffering and embrace with reverence the joy and sweetness that is in their heart. I believe that the folks who gather before me are destined to be there as much as I am. I believe when I give them the best I can, from as open a heart and mind as I can, I will have fulfilled my part of their journey as well.
I am humbled and deeply honored to be a vehicle for the love my teacher shared with me and thousands of others during his journey on this earth. It has instilled a great longing in me that is touched by Guru Arjan Dev Ji’s letters (Shabd Hazare) to his father, Guru Ram Das. His heart is full of wanting to be with his Saint Guru as mine is full of wanting to be near my beloved teacher every moment of my day and night. The time I feel I am closest to him is when I am teaching. I feel his presence so strongly that it is sometimes difficult to hold back my tears. It always takes me back to that day when he told me to go out and teach and I smile and whisper in my heart, “Sir, these too are your teachers”. Together we serve! God Bless the Siri Singh Sahib Ji.
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