Listen to this first lecture the Siri Singh Sahib, Yogi Bhajan gave at KWTC (Khalsa Women’s Training Camp) on July 5, 1976:
Or read this edited version (as published in the KWTC notes “Woman in Training: The Technology of the Graceful Woman”.)
The average woman today is being subjected to human cruelty and she has no defense against it. From the time she is born, she is considered to be a second-class citizen; not only in America, but all around the world. And there are very few exceptions. Secondly, the cost of the security necessary to protect her from mugging, rape, insults and injuries is considered to be an extra burden for the family. So, there is a subconscious resentment. Thirdly, as an adult the woman does not have the same career opportunity that a man has. It is rarely considered that a woman can be a good doctor or a good attorney. For the most part, the only jobs available to her are those of housecleaner, floor scrubber, babysitter, secretary or other menial work.
So, to be very honest, if you want to assess it truthfully, the woman is not considered to be a full citizen. Even in marriage men do not normally feel it is a privilege to have a strong woman behind them. Instead, they relate to her as a servant, or as a piece of property. This is the behavior pattern of discrimination against women that has developed.
Before the time of Guru Nanak, there was not one holy man who would speak out against this discrimination. Guru Nanak was the first prophet to openly raise his voice for the equality of women. He said,“Bhand jameeai, bhand neemieh, bhanday karovia: How can you call that being inferior, she who has given birth to the king and queen and all the subjects of their kingdom?” In the end he said, “So kio mandar kieh jia ja mera jan: How can you call that person low or unequal who as given birth to the politician, king, queen and all subjects?” This concept did not sit well with the ritualistic people of Guru Nanak’s time and because of it, Guru Nanak went through a period of heavy slander. Guru Nanak said, “Koee kahai bud na, koee kahai patala: Somebody tells me I am a ghost; somebody tells me I am a spirit; somebody tells me I am out of my head.” The same Guru Nanak that people bow to today was said to be crazy by the people of his day because of his stand in favor of women.
Even in this modern world, how fashionable is it when a woman at thirty-three is asked to quit? What is wrong? Has she lost her womanly charm? Can you believe that? At thirty-three she is not competent for work. It was not very long ago in this great democracy when women made a lot of noise about the right to vote. Even today as a woman you cannot ask for credit. Even today.
As long as humanity does not learn to respect the woman, there will be no peace on this earth. There will be a war always. In our society, woman is used as a tool of the advertising industry. Her sexuality is exploited to sell automobiles and whiskey. The most graceful being on this planet is treated disgracefully as a playmate, as a sexual toy. When we treat the mother of our next generation in such a lowly, negative manner, how can we expect the human condition to improve?
This is the first time that a judge in San Francisco let a couple of prostitutes go. He said, “Well they do it for money, what about those who will pay the money? Where are they? Because they are men, we let them go, but that is not justice.
The woman has been exploited so much by the male of this society, that now she is pressing for equality with a determination that is almost neurotic. It is good that this pressure is at last beginning to make a difference, but there are also going to be serious consequences. The woman is the only one who can teach her child tenderness and compassion. It is this exposure to gentleness in the lap of the mother for the first seven years of life that teaches a man to be just, tolerant and compassionate in his dealings with others. And when that tenderness will be lost, we will not have compassionate males. What will be the result? The result will be a lot more killing, a lot more war. This is what we can expect to happen to humanity in less than one hundred years if this trend is not stopped.
The entire nervous system, and consequently the entire capacity of a person for self-control, is determined by the touch of a mother. All human character, which has that gentleness for which humanity is proud, comes from the gentle touch of the woman. Our entire value of acceptance of others, hospitality, compassion, pain for others, thinking for others, giving, sacrificing, welcoming, — all this is learned in the lap of the mother. There is a saying in the scriptures that, “Whatever goodness a man has, it is learned in the lap of his mother. That is how important the institution of a woman as a mother is in our society.
The man has sixteen times less tolerance and thirty-two times less compassion than a woman. Yet, we are recording in 1976 that woman is a second-rate creature. Woman is the one human creature who can him her blood into milk for surviving the human generation. There once was a lady customs officer in my command. I told her, “You can do any job that I can do.” She looked around and said, “Are you sure?” I said, “Yes.” She said, “How can you be so sure? ” I said, “If a woman can produce a child out of her womb, she can do anything.” She looked around a second time. She said, “Okay pray for me.” I said, “No. It is the prayer of the woman that sustains the earth, not the prayer of the man.” And that is the fundamental truth.
Through so many exploits this human creature is going through so many insults, and still this human creature is maintaining her radiance and the grace. Because this human creature known as woman is actually a fountain of divine spirit. She can produce anything. Science can produce all the material things of this earth but cannot produce a system which has the intelligence of compassion of woman. It is impossible. The day you can produce the intelligence of mother’s compassion, you can produce God. God and a woman’s compassion are not two different things.
In spite of what is said these days, men and women are entirely different creatures. Even in the realm of consciousness, men and women face very different realities. The environment, therefore, which woman should be raised from the birth, to her death is absolutely different from the male. Woman has four paths to liberation from which to choose, but the man has only one. Man must live righteously and be divine. That is the only way he can be liberated. But woman has this same path plus three others: she can give birth to a man of divine righteousness; she can serve a man of divine righteousness; or she can be a wife to a man of divine righteousness.
In common language, woman is called the better half and yet this neurotic, idiotic, schizophrenic idiot who calls himself a man, out of ego started putting down woman for a lot of reasons. First is jealousy, second is incompetency, third is his rude behavior and fourth is his brain structure. Man’s nervous system needs to be fed, smoothed, and consoled. The brain structure of a man is not designed to give continuous support. Woman, on the other hand, is complete in this area. Try an experiment. Make a man work alone for six months without any contact with woman and see what happens. He shouldn’t talk about woman, see a woman, read about woman. You will have a living neurotic on your hands. A man needs the soothing and wanning effect of life that comes from the words and gestures of woman.
Now you will ask me, “If the woman is so great, why does she chase the man?” The answer is because she is attracted to the male fragrance. Man has an odor about him that you cannot smell, but that has the power of attraction in it. I am just translating the scriptures to you; I am not adding anything. It is called male fragrance. Whenever the density of that fragrance reaches a certain level, woman gets attracted. It is a biological and absolutely human phenomenon. This is how God has made this whole scheme.
Finally, on a psychological and sociological basis, the woman needs a puppet to look to and that puppet should act as a hero. She has a desire to make him act as a hero. A universal creativity is a part of each woman. She wants to make a man look great, be great, or pretend great. The entire mess in the society is because of that instinct in woman. She wants to produce a great man. If she cannot make the real, she wants him to fake the real.
The trouble in this society is that ninety-two percent of all men are fakes. We call them banana men. These wonderful bananas are not intuitive but are emotional reactors of the environment. I am teaching you this science because this is the science of humanity, the science of humanology, so that when you take the role of a woman and a mother you may try to bring these fake creatures, known as egocentric, egomaniac men, to their positive potential. Woman is the culprit who is responsible for the existence of these fakes. No psychological therapy can give a male confidence if it doesn’t come through the mother. The foundation has to be laid by the mother in the first three years. These first thousand days of each child, male or female, are most important. They are called the foundation of the man to be.
Woman is spelled as “w-o-man,” but if you pronounce it correctly, it is “double-you-oh-man. ” Man is fifty percent of a woman. The word is powerful. In the beginning the word was with God and the word was God. In the word “female” are the words “male” and “fe”. “Fe” means the essence and “male” means man. Female means the essence of the male.
In the Western world if you have to publicly address a woman, you will say, “She is my better half,” but if she is not married, you will call her a “chick.”
A woman can walk two roads: the road of the chick and the road of the eagle. You want to be a spoon of a restaurant, or do you want to be a spoon the size of a shovel? If you do not put the grill of modesty, grace, and character around you, there is nothing on earth which cannot let you not be exploited. Your only saving factor is to put around you the strongest grill of your radiance of a woman. Let nothing exploit you. Don’t fall in temptation. Attempt to avoid temptation on the part of a trapper. This banana man is a very expert trapper. He lays his trap and hardly lives it more than a week. These men have certain fundamental qualities. They are very sweet to talk to, very charming in their manners, knowledgeable, and when they get mad, they are indirect. Stay away from any male who is indirect to you when he is angry. The minimum distance is nine feet. That is the radius of the aura. When a male cannot express his anger directly to a woman, he is not a male at all. This is the one fool-proof test. These men have got the whole thing figured out. Not that they have those qualities, but they decorate themselves with those qualities. These banana men are like our modem traps for attracting, sucking in, and killing insects. There is absolutely no difference between these men and those traps in attraction, behavior and quality.
Who is responsible for creating these men? If the mother does not give confidence and love, when the man grows to adulthood, he becomes revengeful. A saying in the scriptures goes: “The mother can create a God, or she can create a demon.” “She is the one who writes the destiny on the forehead of the male.” They call it “Kudrat”, Mother Nature. Father is God, “kudrat” is Nature. Mother Nature writes the destiny of the child when the soul enters the womb on the120th day. Whatever character the mother gives to the child in the first three years becomes his first fundamental permanent foundation of character. The next four years, up to the seventh year, are the second coat, and all she can give the child is up to the eleventh, year. After this time, the child will become more a friend than a disciple of character. Therefore, whatever a mother has to give a child must be given within the first eleven years.
Do you know the difference between these two words? The first one is “divine” and the other is “divinity”. “Divine” is considered to be God, and “divinity” to be woman, the creation, kudrat manifestation, divine and divinity, Purkha and Prakirty, God and its creation, ying and yang, positive and negative are there to create the light. The scriptures say woman is the source of consciousness. As a female, as a woman, as a grace of God, you can play a fundamental basic human role: to uplift the consciousness of humanity. If humanity has been sustained up to today, it is because of the temperamental tolerance of the woman. The idea of having this woman’s course is not to talk to or teach the woman, but to analyze, study, and create woman in image, form and action.
Q: If the woman is the essence, and woman can make the man great, then can she help the banana men?
A: Yes, she can. All she has to do is become a woman. Woman does not need any tool, any weapon, reason, or logic. Even just one woman will work. There is a story. A man was very handsome and beautiful. He was sitting home while the woman went to work the whole day in the field. Coming back, she had a big bale of hay on her head, a pair of bullocks walking in front, and guiding a big buffalo pulling a large cart full of what she had picked that day. It was almost the work of five people. Somebody mocked that man, saying, “Hey, you sit here as a free-loader, and she is a real worker.” The woman replied, “No, in the evening I would like to look at the face of a very real, rested man.” The hard work didn’t bother her; all she wanted was to see the face of a very rested, and peaceful man.
Men are very unrestful and crazy. They have no smoothness unless someone is there to sooth them. This soothing comes from nowhere on this earth except by the appearance, words and gestures of a woman. When a woman wants to raise someone’s blood pressure, hardly any medicine can keep him cool. When woman wants a man to be insane, even God cannot protect that man.
Q: Are all saints males?
A: A saint does not mean male or female. You have certain words because you were raised as Christians. Woman was produced from the seventh rib of a male. The seventh rib is a yogic concept. If you do not let me be killed by these Christians, I’ll tell you the greatest story today. The seventh rib is one meridian point in the human body which can alter the breathing through the ida and pingala. It holds the pranic energy, also known as the spirit. God took the spirit out of the man and created woman; not his rib, not his piece of bone. Now it is not possible for me to correct the Christian Bible. But when you grow in majority, and your Dharma rules this earth, at that moment correct it. At this time just listen to it and keep it with you.
Q: Please define flirtation.
A: Flirtation is the art in a woman of not considering the pros and cons of her radiance and grace, but catering to the environment temporarily in her social, emotional and sentimental aspects. That is a quality of the moon. Because she represents the moon, woman has a faculty to be trapped by a flirtatious mind. Woman never flirts; her mind flirts, and a definite pattern of behavior is required to control it. There are two ways in which a man can get to a woman. One is through the male’s fragrance. The other is through her mind. The male moon center, in the chin, has hair on it; therefore, it is steady. The female moon center, also in the chin, does not have hair; therefore, she fluctuates more than the male. It is like the waxing and waning of the moon. In 28 days of her menstruation cycle, her moon can be found ill eleven areas of the body, called the eleven limbs of a woman.
Mother is the only person on this planet who can discipline the child and infuse him with spirit. The Siri Guru Grant Sahib says the first teacher is the mother, gurdev mata. Second is gurdev pita, the father; third is the relatives and environment, gurdev bhandu; and fourth is the spiritual teacher, parmayshram. One can use fear and love in proportion to discipline, but you should not regiment the child under a complex of fear.
What scriptures are you quoting? I am quoting a lot of scriptures. The Siri Guru Granth Sahib has a lot of what I say, but there are a lot of other scriptures. The Bagthi and Sanscriti describe certain times, certain values and certain experiments done by certain sages which I quote.
Shabd Hazare in the Siri Guru Granth Sahib gives the most characteristic behavior, crystalized spiritual know-how of the Guru in the concept of a woman’s behavior pattern in relating to a male:
“Iaanreeay maanraa kaaeh karay. Aapanrai ghar har rango na maanay. So nayrai dhan kamaleeay baahar kiaa dooday. Bhai keeaa day salaaeeaa nainee bhaav kaa kar seegaaro. Ta sohaagan jaaneeai laagee jaa so dharay piaaro. Iaanee baalee kiaa karay jaa dhan kant na bhaavai. Karan palaah karay botayray saadhan mahal na paavai. Vin karmaa kich paaeeai naahee jay botayraa dhaavai.”
“Oh, innocent woman, what can that one to whom you look with reverence do? In his own house he does not look to, does not listen to, this graceful one, his beloved one. He so near to you, so attached to you. What is he trying to find outside, where is the discrepancy in the relationship? Put in your eyes, the realization, the charisma of fear and go deeply, telescopically into his being to find what you have been missing in his personality, and at that time decorate yourself with reverence for him; by your glow and radiance, you will yourself receive reverence. Then only are you married; are you at that level of consciousness as one with him so that you can seat him in your heart with love. What can this innocent woman do if she cannot reach to his essence; there must be something hidden in his character, approach, language, behavior, or the environments. She may do everything, often she overdoes it, but does not get to the core of his being. Unless that happens, your relationship will not prosper.”
So my idea in giving this course is to give you all opportunity to determine for yourself if you just want to show that woman is not a piece to be exploited but is a piece of human life which is to be respected, which is graceful and divine. I shall be very, very happy for my part, and I will feel very fulfilled. I appreciate your concern, your faith, your trust, and your desire to be here. It is my hope that if we honestly and truthfully go through this course and try to manifest a practical, living Adi Shakti, we will do a great human service. We will print it as a book called The Living Woman. In vibration, all of you will be the co-authors.
Speaking with you this evening has given me a joy, a hope. Cleanliness is divinity, discipline is Godliness, and only a disciple knows what is Godliness. Nobody else knows. Center of God is “O”, organization. I hope your camp will be most organized. You should police yourselves. Your consciousness is your police, and your life is your discipline. You have come here to practice a living discipline and a living consciousness. You will learn to forget your weaknesses and relate to your strengths. Then you can return home as a new model in the old body, your strength, your confidence, your culture, your discipline, your self-reliance, your self-projection, your concept of values. Your relationships, socially, economically and personally will be transformed to make you a qualified woman for the worthy cause of uplifting humanity.