Your Inner Conflict
Excerpts from the Siri Singh Sahib’s Khalsa Council address on October 3, 2002
Today’s subject is very serious. It is the most difficult subject. Few talk about or feel it.
Normally, people are in denial. They do not look at themselves and their inner conflicts. Inner conflict is a very vital sign of life. With every change of longitude and latitude, you change the magnetic field. You want to grow and go forward, but you have a conflict:
“Will I be safe? Will it be all right?” An unfortunate part of the Age of Pisces is that people stick to time and space. But in the Age of Aquarius, you shall not be stuck. If you are not willing for that change to happen, there is nothing that I can do to help you. I have lived enough. I’ll go and leave you to time. That’s why I chose this subject; so, you should not be handicapped in the coming times.
To have a conflict is a conscious act. But to keep it inside, and hidden, is a personal crime. If you have to face that kind of situation, you cannot live in peace and tranquility. The only situation you care to face today is, “How about my position on the Earth? Am I rich enough, am I wise enough, am I well employed, have I got a good house?” With, all this, are you in a position to understand?
All given things are there. You have all things. But do you understand that you are beyond that, too? You are everything. Your bathroom tub is broken; you’ve got to repair it. Your door is not shutting properly; you’ve got to repair that. Your car is leaking oil; you have to get it fixed. But you are not a car or an oil leak. These are chores. These are jobs, which consciously, as part of living, we take care of. But the fact is, do we remember we are beyond that?
Then you grow to the conflict of the self: fear and vengeance. Do you have a control on that conflict? Do you have a practice, in collaboration with your mind and consciousness, that you shall not take revenge and you shall not have fear? Nirbhao (fear), nirvair (vengeance)-these are two words. But when you confirm, “I shall have no vengeance, and I shall have no fear,” then you will feel Guru* with you. Then Ang Sang Wahe Guru (“God is in every part of me”) will be felt. This can’t be wrong!
Your psyche will not conflict with the universal psyche and will perform the manifestation of Guru’s faith, radiance, and life. Grace will come to you. It isn’t just that you close your eyes and say, “Na na na na na na.” This is not going to work in life. You have to have a mental focus. You can’t argue about it.
“I am afraid.” That doesn’t mean anything. That moment you are afraid, you have forgotten there is a God, and there is a Guru.
In ordinary life, you are not about to become a saint. You are to become pure with a depth of piety such that through your feelings and your ideas and your thoughts, if you touch somebody or you look at somebody, that person is elevated to the height of ecstasy (“Drib Drishti”). It’s not that you close your eyes like you are doped up. That’s not ecstasy. Ecstasy is when you are firm and live as a human in the pleasure of the Divine God. Then you shall have no duality.
You will not feel that God has left you, nor that He is leaving you, nor that He shall leave you. It’s a practice. It is not that somebody can say, “Shhhhh,” and it will be done. Check your mind: what it is saying, what you are saying, and what your inner self, inner being is saying. These are three things happening at the same moment. First separate them. When a thought comes, ask “who’s saying what to me? What is the origin of this thought?” But no, you don’t do that. The thought comes, you start recycling it. What a waste of your most precious life…
You know why? Because the conflict is between you and your mind.
But when you believe or know or feel, rightly or wrongly, that “Ang Sang Wahe Guru,” that “Wahe Guru is with me,” then your mind will behave, and your identity will not let you down.
I think the fact is that I must have done pranayam for a long time. I was not supposed to live beyond seventy-two.
There is some breath of life left which I have to use. But everybody asks me, “What will happen after you leave?” Well, what was happening when I was not here? Either it is Guru’s domain, or it is a personal domain. If it is Guru’s domain, then let Guru decide it. Let people have mastery on their inner conflict. Let them understand that they are beyond those three thoughts-the thoughts of the mind, the self, and the inner being. Let their intuition prove if they can feel and say what God is saying to them.
There’s nobody without God. If you cannot see God in all, you cannot see God at all.
You have all been blessed with virtue, but you get afraid of your inner conflict. Then you go to a psychiatrist. But just imagine this: why has inner conflict come to you? Because you have the power given by God and Guru to solve it.
We have the ultimate strength of the spirit-the soul. You may not know it, but you have an awakened soul. We are born spiritual people. Simply, we have to be kind and cozy as humans.
So, there is nothing to worry about.
What we are talking about is the reverse of normal belief. “Oh, oh, you should clean your inner conflict.” Why? If there’s no inner conflict, what are we living for? It is not the doubt which bothers us. It is the doubt which we kill and conquer. That’s what we live for.
“Come on doubt, come, come, come.” That’s it! That’s it.
It is a habit. Fear is a habit. Vengeance is a habit. These are human habits. We have to change them.
See how Nanak says, “Ek Ong Kar, Sat Nam, Karla Purkh, Nirbhao, Nirvair (God and we are One, this is our True identity, the Doer of everything, beyond fear, beyond revenge).” Then he says, “Akaal Moorat, Ajoonee, Saibhang, Gurprasaad (Beyond death, image of the Infinite, unborn, full of light, the Guru’s gift).”
Take Nanak’s words as real; practice them.
What is the purpose of this life? To be happy. We have to be happy that we have inner conflicts, and we solve them every day. Every day you make your bed. You sleep in your bed; you have to make your bed. Right? So, you live.
There are conflicts. Conflict comes from all sides of the angle, triangle, chakras, etc. But you are beyond it.
Conflicts have come to test your purity and piety, your unity, your grace, and your reaction to it.
Your path is laid. I just carried the teachings and brought them to you. It is up to you to master every conflict, feel the responsibility that each one of you is a leader of the Age of Aquarius, and carry that responsibility to the hearts of the people.
*Giver of light and knowledge
Read the original lecture excerpt from the Winter 2002 Aquarian Times
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